A Voice in the Night: Silent Abuse, The Early Warning Signs That Could Save Your Life, by Erin Ireland

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www.erinirelandwrites.com

 Thank you Nicole for inviting me to your blogging world.  I have much to say about the treatment of others, and I’m very happy to be here today to share my knowledge of abuse with those who may need help.

Hopefully the excerpts from A Voice in the Night will shed some light on the content of these pages and move those in need to use:  A Voice in the Night: Silent Abuse, The Early Warning Signs That Could Save Your Life, as a guide to finding their safe ground to dwell upon.

After reading A Voice in the Night, one will hopefully find and realize their value to society, and rights as a human being.  It is meant for all who read this book to obtain the ability to demand respect and have learned to accept nothing but. Knowing your worth, taking what you deserve, and learning to love yourself will be the tools you use to experience a new and abuse free life.

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Chapter 1

How We Determine Abuse

 

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These essays are intended to build awareness of the beauty and brilliance that exists in all of us and to show that no one has the right to try and strip us of that.  This isn’t so much a book about how to find happiness. Rather, it’s simply about recognizing you are entitled to happiness and about shedding relationships with people who would deny that entitlement.

 

Chapter 2

What is Abuse?

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Abuse is complex and rarely recognized as abuse by those who deem it “none of their business.”    Like it or not, we are our brother’s keepers, and when another is in need, we could all do more to be there to do what we can. At one time or another in our lives we will all need some help from someone other than ourselves.

Abuse is not only the act of inflicting forceful blows to the body. Abuse is about the suffering degradation, belittling, humiliation and lack of concern for another living being.

 

Chapter 3

Know you are abused

 

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Put your feelings first and foremost in your mind before you consider giving anything to a mate. This is a good practice to help you see if you are in fact receiving your entitled respect. You need to be in tune with your emotions and know you deserve at least as much as you give.

Your abusers can make you feel as though you are imagining these vague abusive things. When you reach a point of not being sure of your own feelings, then you have abuse that is teetering on silence and could become a permanent acceptance on your part. Your feelings will be the red flag that alerts you to someone treating you incorrectly.

We live in our heads thinking maybe we are just so sensitive we can’t cope with what we should.  Know what you feel, and know that if you are coping with the situation, you are laboring in this relationship. Abusers put a lot of effort into distorting the truth and making us feel guilty or making us feel we are imagining things. If you feel you are being taken for granted, then you probably are being taken for granted. If you feel a little disrespected, then you probably are being disrespected. Trust in you.

Chapter 4

When is it OK to Swallow What Makes You Unhappy?

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If you can hear that inner voice gnawing at you, you can save yourself a world of heartache, because animalization of humans takes place more readily than most people are aware of. How many times have you thought, “How come he/she can’t see that I’m feeling used, that I’m feeling unloved, that I’m tired, that I’m in a desperate need to have him/her share some of my burden? I’m in need of someone to talk to, someone who can feel my concerns.”

How many times do you feel you are holding all the weight, because your mate is pretending to have more to do than he/she is honestly supporting? When one mate is expecting the other to carry the load, that mate simply expects their mule to get the job done for them. Relationships that lean heavily on one person to keep them together usually suffer in a number of ways.  Happiness is definitely out the window simply because there is not enough sharing, and respect is missing from the relationship. No respect = no real love.

Chapter 5

How Abuse Begins Early On

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These personalities impose authority over just about everything. It has to be the way they think; it should be according to them. These are mates who will reduce you to feeling insignificant and worth very little as they will in their minds, always do everything better than you.

These are criticizing petty people who will most likely ruin your life if you succumb to their controlling craziness. They will complain about the refrigerator not being organized right, to the hair you left in the bathroom sink.

They will build in their minds that you are ruining their life because you haven’t dried a dish and put it away. They are abusive and can bring you down emotionally. Walk away from these personalities. They are toxic.

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Some teenagers are just accepting to the possessive behavior because they are attracted to the boyfriend or girlfriend and want to be included with their peers with having someone they can call theirs. Teenagers can learn to accept abuse if it is not pointed out to them. They can start down a road they have never been on before allowing their new mates to control them and question their every action and relationship with others. They don’t seem to give it thought that even their parents don’t control them this much.

Chapter6

Are You a Child or an Adult?

 

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You may think, “Maybe my life isn’t so bad.” Maybe you have all the material things you want. Maybe you are willing to trade your respect for the comfort of material things or the presence of a mate. All of this would be your choice of course, and who would even know or care for that matter? The concern for yourself should be far reaching the material comforts you are enjoying now. Mates who want a beautiful woman, an arm-candy man, a mate that is there to do everything for them whatever the reason for the parent /child relationship, it will most likely end if you reach an impasse where you cannot provide what the parent part of the relationship is demanding years down the road.

 Chapter 7

Why is Abuse Tolerated?

 

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One of the worst tolerances I have read and studied about would be the forced marriages of the many religions that span over 50 or more countries today. Many of these religions practice this abusive behavior against women.

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I want the world to know what I have read, and what these women suffer.

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If a woman in one of these families refuses to marry the person she is promised to at birth, she shames her family. Her family then feels justified in killing her for that. At best they beat her up, and abuse her, then shun her, cut her off from family, and isolate her from all that she has known her entire life. It is quite devastating for these women /girls.

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They believe their choices are slim to none for having any freedom in this life. If her family chooses not to shun her, they will lose honor in their community, which evidently is more important to them than their child

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It’s devastating to these girls for their mothers to tell them they must do whatever their husbands say, and if they are being beaten, they should be better wives, try harder to please and maybe he won’t beat them as much. Wow! What a Mom.

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I don’t understand how a mother can tell her child she is dead to her if she doesn’t submit to a life of horror with some abusive monster she promised her to 15 years before. Then there is the horrible “female circumcision” of many cultures that is administered and continued by women! The suffering of these children is unspeakable, and inhumane, better to never bring a child into such a culture.

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Believe in yourself. You are right when you think, I can’t bear this life of loneliness and abuse. We all deserve freedom. No one is happy without freedom. No one ever!

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If your mother wants to speak of shame on your family, she may want to think about the shame she has brought on her own soul when she has deserted her child. Know you are right in your feelings of wanting to escape, and remove yourself from such abusive people.

The world is not perfect, but it has better than that to offer you.

 Chapter 8

The Power We Possess Over Physical Abuse

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My message to you is: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! All who are being physically abused, you have the power within yourself to end it. It will NEVER get better if you are being abused physically. You must get out, and you must take responsibility for yourself.

Getting help starts with you first. Stop making excuses why he/she hurts you. There are no excuses for hurting you; none that you can utter or justify anyone hurting you, unless you are physically hurting them to begin with. Then that would be a toxic situation that you need help for, and the both of you would need to part immediately.

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There are those who would not agree with fighting back as that would be just more violence in return, but in my opinion, some of these abusers understand nothing else. In spite of how I feel about giving them what they deserve, getting out is your best bet and your safest option.

 

Chapter 9

When We Enable Our Abusers

 

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If your mate is permitted to rule you in the beginning, they will take baby steps to eventually own your every move. Following like a puppy dog you enable your mate to have all the say, all the control. They will eventually manipulate you into a position where you may not even have your necessities any more, let alone something you wish for.

 Chapter 10

Making the Break

 

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Then there may be the suicide threats—the I can’t live without you crap. If I leave him and he kills himself, how will I forgive myself crap. It’s crap not because I am insensitive to your feelings about his threats, but because it’s a way for him/her to manipulate you into doing what they want. They know if they blame you, you will most likely feel guilty and again be controlled once more to do what they want.

It’s not your responsibility to keep this person from committing suicide because they are too selfish to recognize they can’t have everything they want. Suppose we all went around threatening to commit suicide if others didn’t give us want we wanted? Would the world care about our selfish demands? I don’t think so.

Chapter 11

How to Find Help for Yourself

 This chapter is all about resources to get out and start a new live

 Chapter 12

A Time for Healing

 

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If we wish to be successful, we must think successfully. Picture what you dream, and picture it as if you were actually retrieving it. If you can dream it, you can have it. Step forward to grab it. It’s in your reach if you make the effort. If we thrust forward to conquer our fears then we will not be afraid. If we know and believe we are strong, we will be strong both in our own minds and the minds of others observing us.

If we let go of the horrors that have happened to us, we will be free of those horrors. If we take up our given ability to thwart the negative then we will possess positivity. If we have a positive personage, we shall reflect our happiness from within.

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Realize that you have made the right decision. Allow yourself to cry. You have the right to cry and mourn what you have lost, but also remember what you have gained.

A Word from Erin:

 I hope these excerpts from each chapter will have shed some light on the content of this guide to having a better life.  You are a person who is quite capable of making a new life for yourself.  Believe in you.  If you do, you will be strong.  You have gifts that no one else possesses.  You are a human being meant to do kind and wonderful acts towards the world.  What you have suffered will now become your tools to improve the life of others.  God Bless all who read these pages and prosper from their message.

The reviews so far have been excellent

 To Purchase this Book

Amazon http://tinyurl.com/pxsyhmt

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Erin’s web site

 About Erin Ireland

Erin Ireland writes for those who feel they have no voice.  She is a woman who has spent many years observing the abuse of others.  Her experiences have been many in the direction of others who suffer in silence with isolation, controlled obsessions, verbal abuse, Superior attitudes, deceit, jealousy, physical, and sexual assaults, and many more indignities suffered everyday by beautiful people.

Erin Ireland has suffered a great deal of abuse in her own life, and writes from her heart when explaining what she feels is an inappropriate act against another.

Her passion for the subject of abuse runs deep, and reflects in her sometimes overpowering expressions of what she would like to change in life for you. She wishes for all to come to her website, feel welcome, and hopes that all will find some refuge and enlightenment there.

Erin Ireland is a nom de plume, in order to protect the innocent.  She will always speak her mind and the truth for the betterment of all those who seek answers and comfort.  She has written a book Titled, A Voice in the Night: Silent Abuse, The Early Warning Signs That Could Save Your Life.   This is a book to help others bypass the long suffering that can be eliminated if they can learn to view the traits of an abuser early on.

She is writing for others to see the light.  Erin hopes for them be a lamp unto themselves.  She wishes for them to find there safe ground to stand on, before they have spent their entire lives wondering: what it is that they have done to deserve such demeaning treatment? Abuse is a conditioning that can be unlearned. Every human being is entitled to an abuse free life.

 

BOOK REVIEW: RESCUE ME BY VAL SILVER & TEAM RESCUE

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Rescue Me by Val Silver and Team Rescue is the most wonderful book I have read this year. It baffles me that people can be so cruel to animals. The book left me in tears and feeling very hopeful that there are decent individuals willing to take care of abandoned and abused dogs.
In 2007, I adopted a dog from the local shelter from my hometown of Denver, Colorado. One thing I later learned is most people do not adopt older dogs. I immediately fell in love with Deniro. Deniro looks like a fox because he is mixed with Shiba Inu and sheltie. Oh my, lucky for me, everyone passed him up for a much younger dog. Deniro is still doing well and is a great dog. The following section from the book rings so true to me, because it explains very well what Deniro has done for my family and me.

Dogs are masters of creating emotionally safe space just by being themselves. This is very difficult to put into words, but it is as if something deep within our souls resonates with their energy, their unwavering unconditional love and unbridled joy in our presence, their undivided loyalty, and complete trust in us. Dogs make us feel special, and teach us by example to relish simple pleasures and live totally in the moment. They teach us there is only now and only who you are, who you are with, and
what you are doing right then – and what could be better than to sniff the wind and be in
the company of those you love?

Rescue Me should be in the home of every animal lover. I love that the authors give a large portion of the proceeds to help homeless dogs in need. I encourage all to please spread the word about this amazing book.

Book Review: ‘On Dragonfly Wings’ by Daniela Norris

ondragonflywings300ppiReading Daniela Norris’ book, On Dragonfly Wings: A Skeptic’s Journey to Mediumship left me in a state of shock. I am a believer in Jesus Christ and God, and do not believe in communicating with the dead. I believe when a person dies, his or her spirit returns to God. I also trust what the Bible teaches that there are good and bad spirits. I also believe that some people allow themselves to get possessed by bad spirits. Even though I do not agree with all the information presented in On Dragonfly Wings, I have to give the book a five star because Ms. Norris is an excellent writer. The story is in my opinion, well written. Normally I would not have read a book of this nature, but her writing style drew me in right from the start.

Earth-bound energies are rarely attached to healthy, happy people, because their energy field is less open than people who are addicted or generally vulnerable. Another reason to get yourself in good shape emotionally, physically and spiritually! The best way to be rid of spirit attachments is not to get them in the first place. This means a healthy lifestyle and a positive attitude.

Ms. Norris hits the nail right smack on head with the above passage from her book. Yes, indeed, evil or bad spirits will only possess those who are weak and leave an open door for the ultimate deceiver, Satan to take over and control them. The true God, our heavenly father do not control us, he affords his children free will at all times.
Another section in the book made me stop to ponder quite a bit:

Once in bed, my mind was buzzing. I was too thrilled to fall asleep. I clutched my bent spoon and fork and could not let go of a thought that accompanied me through most of that night: If metal can really be bent with the power of energy, by pure thought, imagine what else the power of the mind can achieve.

In the above section, Ms. Norris sat through a session where she learned how to bend spoon and fork. My first reaction is what is the profit of this? The only logical conclusion is just another tool, God’s arch enemy, Satan uses to fool people into thinking they are more powerful than God almighty. The one redeeming lesson I gained from reading On Dragonfly Wings: A Skeptic’s Journey to Mediumship, is it has made me more resolute in my faith in God almighty, and that the dead are dead until Jesus Christ returns. I believe, the dead should left alone to rest in peace until Christ returns to gather all believers.

Book Review: ‘Luthier’s Apprentice’ by Mayra Calvani

 

Mayra Calvani’s newest novel, The Luthier’s Apprentice drew me in right away. The suspense and anticipation in the story kept me turning the pages. The main character, 16-year-old Emma, finds herself immersed in  the mystery of her her beloved violin teacher’s sudden disappearance. Emma joins forces with her best friend, Annika, and Corey Fletcher, another of Monsieur Dupriez’s students, to investigate his disappearance.

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I really enjoyed the way the author used a mixture of paranormal fantasy and science fiction elements to pen this story. The Luthier’s Apprentice provides the reader with a slew of excitement without being too scary.

Mayra Calvani is an expert when it comes to storytelling. The characters are well developed, and it is easy for the reader to get a real sense of who they are. She is a master with her descriptions of each character.  I especially like the following description:

The woman’s ash blonde hair rose high above her head, entwined with tiny sparkling amethysts. Black liner and shadow deepened her sultry, heavy-lidded gaze, turning her violet eyes into murky swamps. Her beautifully drawn lips glistened with purple lipstick. Her tall, statuesque figure was wrapped in a purple velvet cloak lined with fur. Like on her hair, amethysts glittered on her neck, ears, wrists and fingers. “Like what you see, Monsieur?” the woman drawled.

The words “murky swamps”  and “drawled” paint a vivid picture in my mind of just how evil Mr. Dupriez’s captor is. The author uses these types of description throughout the novel, and this is what drew me in and captivated my attention.     I am fluent in French and enjoyed immensely the French the author used throughout the story. The usage of French and Italian phrases added a special appeal to the story.

Mayra Calvani’s short novel is  must read for anyone looking to read a well penned, fast paced, paranormal novel.

Lastly, Ms. Calvani cunningly leaves the door open for a sequel. I can’t wait, I hope it is published soon.

Interview: Tony Gaines, Author of ‘Diary of the Lost Teen Age’

I am elated to interview a local Colorado author. Tony Gaines wrote his first short story in the second grade after the teacher assigned the class to read The tale of Peter Rabbit and by the age of twelve he was firmly hooked on writing in a diary regularly. He has written and published several poems and songs and his first novel called, Diary of the Lost Teen Age is showing lots of promise by the reviews it’s receiving on Amazon. He was a military soldier in his early twenties and has lived all over the world including three continents and now resides in Colorado. Tony Gaines is presently working for the U.S Postal Service.

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Are the events you wrote about based on your life or are they all fiction?

All the events in my novel happened in the lives to at least one of the characters in the novel. I rearranged circumstance so no one character could ever be prosecuted for past events.
What lessons do you want your readers to learn from reading Diary of the Lost Teen Age?

I would like the readers to learn as they read forward and the novel unfolds how I crafted each main character in the novel to have learned a lesson about themselves and life as they mature throughout the novel. I also would like the challenge the readers to witness how the current events of the day dramatically changed the lives and behaviors of the main characters.
How long did it take you to write such a novel? What paths did you take to reach this artistic point?

I begin unconsciously taken notes for the novel when I bought my first diary at the age of thirteen when a friend suggested I journal what was going on these days in our lives in the ever-changing 1970s. I kept an ongoing diary throughout my teenage years and had grandiose plans to one day write a novel about those teenage years after I was retired living on some island and collecting a pension.

My inspiration came in 2005. At that time we had the typical American two teenager, two career frantic fast pace family lifestyle that ended in divorce. When I was moving out of the suburban home I had shared with my family I discovered my old teenage diaries I had kept from the 1970s in a briefcase in the downstairs closet right next to my old bowling ball which hadn’t been seen in decades either. 2008 arrives, and I am now discovering the diminishing returns of hanging out with my teenagers and their friends, dropping them off at parties and listening to latest teenage craze, leaving me with spare time I had never imagined.

I gathered those old diaries from my briefcase, bought my first computer, went to the library and checked out a book on how to finish your novel. There were mornings I would be late for work because I had gotten up early to work on the novel. I just couldn’t stop working on it. There would be times when I’d get a Starbucks coffee on a Friday evening and watch the sun come up on Saturday morning, not knowing the hours had pass. Eight months later I had written Diary of the Lost Teen Age.

I really like your writing style. The novel is fast-paced and very funny at the same time. How did you develop such a unique style?

Once I started reading back over my old diaries the writing part was the most satisfying part of the journey. There is a writer in all of us just waiting for the right opportunity to express itself. I had unconsciously learned so much from my teenagers, which in turned made my novel more enlightening, having had the experience if knowing how best teenagers think and react. My style came from the voices I kept in my head from my old friends who eventually became characters in my novel most of which I still be in contact with to this day.

Where will your next book take you — and your readers?

If all goes according to plan I would love to take time and write two more novels.  One about what it’s like to lived through your midlife, another about living through those golden years.

How can readers learn more about you and your accomplishments?

I have a website called, Diaryofthelostteenage.com.  I would welcome readers to post on my website reviews of my novel Diary of the Lost Teen Age and their thoughts about midlife and their golden years.  I could one day incorporate some of their ideas in my next novel.

Thank you so much, Tony for doing this interview. I enjoyed reading your book. Your book is very informative  and I learned many lessons.

My Thoughts on the book:

I have read and reviewed more books than I can count.  Reading Tony Gaines’ newly published novel, Diary of the Lost Teen Age, was by far the best reading experience I have had in a long time.

The novel chronicles the life of Tom and all the hurdles he had to endure living with a religious fanatic mother and an alcoholic father.

The author does a great job portraying the life of a devoted Jehovah Witness.  I heard many negative things about the Jehovah Witness religion, but never in my wildest dream did I ever imagine how bizarre they are.

The following passages from the book shed light on how controlling the Jehovah Witness religion is.

Howard’s stepfather has been disfellowshipped  for conduct unbecoming a Christian. During his disfellowship, Leonard is not allowed to sit in Christian fellowship with the other members of this congregation. Although he is expected to attend services and fulfill all of his Christian duties, no one, including his family is allowed to speak to him or otherwise acknowledge his presence in any way for one year.

 Even with a 148 I.Q. I’m not clever   enough to understand how a religious organization can prevent a man from associating with his own family.

It is truly mind boggling to think on how men use religion as a way to control other people.  I applaud Mr. Gaines for not holding back and for displaying all of the dark side of  the Jehovah Witness religion.  I believe Diary of the Lost Teen Age is definitely a novel that should be made into a movie.

If you are looking for a fast-paced and funny book to read, I recommend you pick up a copy of Diary of the Lost Teen Age.

Interview: Maisha I, Author of ‘Journey to I’

It is always a pleasure meeting local authors.  Last month I had an opportunity to  meet Maisha I.  I read her newly published book Journey to I, and decided to interview her.  Her book chronicles what happens when a child is set in his or her ways.  Being too obstinate is never a good thing.

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You were raped at thirteen, have you forgiven the boy that raped you?

It has been a real roller coaster ride of a journey, because I truly was not able to put into context what he had done to me was a rape until I was in my 40s. I had re-framed the incident as to something that was my fault; there was something that I had done, a non-verbal message I had given to him, that provoked his actions. I had somehow brought this on myself as girl/woman and he as a boy/man wasn’t responsible for his inability to control his animal nature. I had to go through a lot of processing and forgiveness for myself, I can now say I have forgiven the boy and have moved on.

Your relationship with your Mom was not the best — have you been able to restore your relationship with her? What are her thoughts about you publishing your tell-all memoir on how badly she treated you as a child?

I discovered so much more about Mom as I wrote my book Journey to I. She actually read through many of the chapters and helped me with some of the early editing. Much of her story that I had no clue about begin to take shape in the book as she helped me filled in some of the blanks. All of a sudden, I began to see her as a woman who had also endured many traumas and she was getting through life the best way she knew how.

Mom had a difficult time when the book was first published and realized that some people may see her in an unforgiving light; however, she always encouraged me to write my book because it was my story, my interpretation of the events as seen through child eyes.

Recently she shared with me. “Maisha, I knew that you were going to have some hard knocks in life; I thought you might get pregnant, maybe have to drop out of school. I thought you would go through something traumatic that would make you come running back to me so that I could protect you. I could never imagine that you were going through what you went through and keep going back out there for more.”

My Mom lives with me now, and I am excited about traveling on the road of healing our mother/daughter relationship that we have embarked on. I can only hope that we can be an example that it is never too late to let the healing begin.

You were a strong-willed child, and your Mom did not know how to handle you. Do you think your life would have been different if your Mom had given you the attention you craved?

 For sure I was an exceptionally strong-willed child; I would not have wished the raising of me on anyone. Mom is a very gentle spirit, and I came out of her womb with a spear in my hand, daring anyone to tell me “No”. You know, this is a difficult question, because I really like myself now; I like to think that I am in the place that I am now because of how I was raised. Maybe if she had given me more attention, I would have felt smothered and had nothing to live for, this way I was always pulling, striving, clinging to the pieces I could get from her. It gave my life purpose.

Do you believe in destiny?  

 I believe that each of us came to the planet earth at this time for a specific reason and no one else can tell us what that is; only each one of us knows our own specific mission for being here. I believe that there are ways in discovering/remembering your mission: ie, speaking with your higher self, guidance through spiritual practices. I believe that there are many wonderful ways placed on this great big planet and in the universe to help us glean our own individual paths. I believe that the destination is already predetermined and we will all eventually get there (or we’ve actually never left). We only get to decide the road we want to travel to the destination.

You spoke about getting involved with Wicca, and having out of body experiences while in prison, do you still practice these rituals today?

 I have practiced many things, I am clear that that I came here to play and experience as much as I can in the realm of co-creating. Out-of-Body experiences are common events that happen to most of us as we sleep; many times we leave our bodies and experience things from a different perspective than our everyday 3rd dimensional can grant us. I am always open for seeing a bigger picture and will not allow anyone to tell me that their interpretation of experiencing life on this planet is any more valid than my own. I love learning and experiencing new things, tasting new foods, participating in various cultural practices. Seeing how for all of our differences, we’re all the same.

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What do you hope your readers will learn from reading your book? 

Mess happens. Sometimes we can find ourselves in the biggest mess that we or anyone around us could have thought of. Sometimes it’s way bigger that anyone could have thought of. No one around me saw that I would one day be facing the Death Penalty.6 years in prison for murder. Serving time for armed robbery. And have cancer. My life was a huge mess, and I had to face that I co-created that. I made that mess, no one else. I had done all of that to myself. When I realized and faced that I had totally co-created my worst life, the worst experiences, my worst self. I was able then to begin replacing the worst with my best. I realized I was sitting at a smorgasbord of experiences, and I was choosing the foul and rotten when fabulous and yummy chocolate cake was on the menu.

You were born in Alaska, and lived in Japan. What led you to relocate to Colorado?

That’s a long story in itself and will be part of my next book entitled Giving Birth to the Goddess of Love: a mother/daughter…daughter/mother saga in which I talk more about me and my mother’s relationship and I bring in my own experiences with raising my own daughter.

In short I ended up in Colorado after I had lived in Trinidad and Tobago WI for about 6 months. I just couldn’t go back to the extreme cold after that.

What advice can you give to teens to help them avoid the many mistakes you made, that ended with you serving six years in prison?

Take responsibility for who you are right now, the person you are being. Circumstances may seem out of your control, but you mind is your own, how you choose to deal with it is up to you. Your thoughts create what is around you. You have much more power than you can ever know. Listen to that part of you that guides you to your greatest joy, no matter what anyone else tells you. Only you know your true mission for coming to this planet at this time. You are the one you have been waiting for.

Can you talk about the woman who you thought was your friend and betrayed you, by reporting you to the police?

 Aww…Kim. I was very hurt by her deceitfulness initially. It didn’t take me long to realize that she had done for me what I could not do. Remember I always try to see how I have co-created the circumstances in my life. I was the one that told Kim, there were a number of people in my life that I could have told and perhaps it would still be a secret today. I chose Kim because on some level, I knew what she would do. On some level I knew what needed to be done. I only wish her a good life and health.

Tell the reader about your former partner Tony who committed the murder, is he still serving a life sentence?

 Tony is still in prison; he did escape once about 18 years ago and was caught after 3 months. Tony is still professing his innocence to this day and after all these years he probably believes his lie. I actually saw him about eight years ago, Please, don’t ask how and why just know that occasionally I still make stupid decisions and choices. I’m really done now. That encounter will be in a future writing.

Now that you have been released from prison, how are you different from the former defiant teen person you wrote about in your memoir?

Ohh… that defiant teen Deidra Gaddy is always with me. I love to say my job is to bust it up, change the conversation, shift the paradigm and give a different perspective. To see possibilities where others may see none. One of my favorite quotes is  “Let no theory contradict your own experiences”—Seth

I would not be who I am without having gone through the experiences I have had. I would not be able to be the voice for magnificently defiant teens like myself. I understand them, I am them. I hope that I can help them realize their voice and focus it in the way of powerfully creating what they want instead of using their voice to cause havoc in their lives and the lives of others. I am still very much a member of the defiant tribe, I’ve just learned to sprinkle it with a little bit of wisdom and grace.

Thanks Maisha I for doing this interview.  I hope you will continue to excel in every endeavor.  I am wishing that when troubled teens read your book, they too, will climb their way back to being  productive citizens.

 My Thoughts on the Book:

I thought the book is well written.  I give it a rating of five out of five stars. This is a book that a parent can read together with a teen that is defiant and who is determined to go down the wrong road.  It can teach what happens when one do not follow certain boundaries.  Troubled teens can learn the lesson of why they should be very careful who they associate with or befriend.

Even in the most dire situations, the book chronicles that one should never give up, and that with a willing spirit one can  find ways to overcome obstacles.  This is the number one reason why I think this book should be read in all detention centers for troubled teens.

I do not hold any judgement against the author for her out of body experiences or getting involved with Wicca, but being a christian  I was a bit shocked when I read about these things. This is the part of the book I liked the least.

Interview with Susan B. James: Author of ‘Time and Forever’

I understand you are an actress, can you tell us about your acting career?

I fell in love with acting at age eleven. I did my first Equity apprenticeship at fifteen. I majored in theater at the University of Georgia and got a scholarship to teach acting and take a Master’s degree at the University of Hawaii. I didn’t plan on that much higher education, but I’d always wanted to go to Hawaii, so how could I say no?

sue 1969 2013 cropped

After that I went to London and then New York to search for acting jobs. I got to do the First National Tour of You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown. I did a lot of rep theater. I met my husband to be, Barry Corbin, at a rep theater in Mobile Alabama in 1970.My crowning theater moment was being in the cast of the musical The Robber Bridegroom on Broadway.

We moved to Los Angeles in 1977 to pursue film and TV acting. When our first son was born, Barry got a major role in Urban Cowboy. After that, his career never stopped. Our second son, Chris, was born on the second day of the War Games shoot.

I gave up theater until the boys were in their teens. (Made a few TV and film appearances including M*A*S*H.) I thought it was more important to raise my sons. Acting could wait. I did pay both my children to write. My older son Jim, who is one of the funniest people I know, is a wonderful writer. I wish he’d take it up as a profession.

How did you make the transition from actress to writer?

I’ve never given up acting. My first TV series was at age sixty six, Warren the Ape on MTV. It didn’t last past the first season, but it was such a thrill to do it. I also guested on some series includingHannah Montana.

Right now I am studying long form musical improvisation. My son Chris wants us to be a musical Improv team and perform at the Del Close Marathon in New York. Chris says in ten years we’ll be good. I like his long range planning. I have an agent and a manager and audition for TV and film and voice over work whenever an audition comes along.

Did you always want to be a writer?

No. I always wrote as a child, but I gave it up as a teenager. I didn’t come back to it until 1992 when my son Chris and I wrote Jamie’s Dream together. However since the age of eight, I’ve always been a bookaholic. I adore reading.

Tell us about your recent release. What was your inspiration for it?

Time and Forever was published by Soul Mate Publishing on January 29, 2014.

Time and Forever2 fiona web largeWhat would you give for a chance at true love? For a chance to go back and find it? Two women in their sixties travel back to 1969. It was supposed to be a Virtual Reality adventure. But something happened.

My inspiration for it? Well . . . My first post on the Pen and Ink Blog was about the joys of NaNoWriMo. To write the post, I signed up for NaNoWriMo without any intention of participating. On November 3, 2009, my Jewish/Catholic guilt genes surged to the forefront of my brain and forced me to sit down at the computer and begin typing. I had not a single idea in my head. In one month I had a book called sSecond Chances. The premise was two women in their sixties time traveling back to 1969. Where did it come from? I’m not sure. I kept telling myself. “It’s your world. Write the story you want to read” and it made me very happy.

Some writers go on long walks; others keep a journal, write at a café, or listen to music. What do you do for inspiration and unleashing your creativity?

Walk. I tend to dream things up when I walk. I solve a lot of problems that way. I try to walk daily.

Some books require a lot of research. How long did it take you to do the research for Time and Forever?

I have no idea. Countless hours. I would always stop writing to Google things in 1969 London and Los Angeles. Anything from fashion to the make and model of TVs available in those days. I have huge files of things I Googled.

I also spent time in second hand shops acquiring magazines from the period. I made a few visits to the library reading newspapers on Microfiche.

The hardest thing was the price of tickets to Disneyland in 1969. I know I went that summer, but I couldn’t remember the price of the tickets. I did online research and then called Disneyland and spoke to the curator and he couldn’t tell me for sure.

I really enjoyed reading Time and Forever, I would love to see a sequel. Is there a possibility you will write one?

I’m willing, but not sure how to do it. I’ve got a rough draft of Kate’s Hero. In it the protagonist is Sherry’s son Michael. So Sherry and Jeremy and Lorena and Dave appear in one chapter.

Where is your book available?

Time and Forever is currently available as an eBook on Amazon. You can preview the first four chapters on Amazon so you can decide if it’s the kind of book you’d like to read.

It will be available as an Audible book in late summer. I’m not sure when Soul Mate will put out the print copy. It may depend on how many eBook copies I sell.

Thank you, Susan, for allowing me to interview you.  I gave your book a five out of five stars. Below are my thoughts on your wonderful book:

Susan B. James’ book, Time and Forever made me a believer in the popular adage, that true love can stand the test of time.

The story is magical and it chronicles the lives of two best friends who time traveled to 1969. One friend gets a second chance to re-connect with a love she never pursued. The second is awarded with an opportunity to change the future.

The two love stories whisked me back to when I first met and fell in love with my husband. As we get older and busy raising a family we tend to forget about that special time in our lives.

The story reminds me that it is never too late for second chances.  Sometimes life throws us a few curve balls, but it is always better to have hope and to keep a positive attitude.

I recommend this book to all who are looking for a fascinating trip through time to find true love.

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